define "a personal relationship"
So this past Sunday our gathering focussed on exploring the meaning of a "personal relationship." My banker, for example, knows me by name and would cash a cheque for me without needing any ID -- we have a personal relationship. On a much deeper level, I have personal relationships with family and friends -- we share a connection, be it by blood or shared history or both. And my closest personal relationship is the one I have with my spouse -- one life, one soul.
But for some people, the closest personal relationship they might experience could be with a complete stranger on the bus to whom they pour out their life story. Or a beer-drinking buddy. Or a one-night stand.
It seems to me that many Christians toss around the concept of "a personal relationship with Jesus Christ" as if that explained everything. It's so much a part of the church lexicon that it's unquestioned, unexamined, yet treated as the most basic of tenets. If asked "Do you have a personal relationship with your Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?" (and which of us hasn't been thus confronted, Christian or not?), most Christians would presumably answer "Yes, of course." And that "yes" seems to satisfy most people who have asked me that question. But what does that personal relationship really mean?
Is Christ like my banker, whom I see only when I need or want something? Is it someone I say hi to on Sunday, but otherwise forget about during the week? Is he my closest friend, even if he does drive me nuts because he's always, always right?
How you see personal relationships... your ability, or inability, to truly grow them, nurture them, participate in them fully with other human beings... can have a profound effect on how you see any personal relationship with Christ.
So some questions to ask yourself: How good are your human personal relationships? With whom do you feel you have the deepest human personal relationship? And which of your human personal relationships most closely matches your personal relationship with Jesus Christ?
But for some people, the closest personal relationship they might experience could be with a complete stranger on the bus to whom they pour out their life story. Or a beer-drinking buddy. Or a one-night stand.
It seems to me that many Christians toss around the concept of "a personal relationship with Jesus Christ" as if that explained everything. It's so much a part of the church lexicon that it's unquestioned, unexamined, yet treated as the most basic of tenets. If asked "Do you have a personal relationship with your Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?" (and which of us hasn't been thus confronted, Christian or not?), most Christians would presumably answer "Yes, of course." And that "yes" seems to satisfy most people who have asked me that question. But what does that personal relationship really mean?
Is Christ like my banker, whom I see only when I need or want something? Is it someone I say hi to on Sunday, but otherwise forget about during the week? Is he my closest friend, even if he does drive me nuts because he's always, always right?
How you see personal relationships... your ability, or inability, to truly grow them, nurture them, participate in them fully with other human beings... can have a profound effect on how you see any personal relationship with Christ.
So some questions to ask yourself: How good are your human personal relationships? With whom do you feel you have the deepest human personal relationship? And which of your human personal relationships most closely matches your personal relationship with Jesus Christ?
7 comment(s):
Hi all -
Since discussion went so well last night, I thought I would add some questions to this thread. See if you guys are out there in cyberland.
Ephesians 5:21-33. Are they relevant today? If so, how? What other passages from scripture add to our understanding of the Christian notion of marriage?
If Ephesians 5:21-33 was written with the understood gender roles of the time, how do we apply them to relationships today?
Does "dominance" in a relationship necessarily mean that this person is making all the decisions? Can one person in a relationship be the dominant personality without being the decision maker? I know I'm the louder one, but I couldn't claim to make all the decisions. I know I wouldn't WANT to be responsible for all the decisions!
These are only a few of the questions I walked away with yesterday! Anyone else?
Is the term "personal relationship" even appropriate? I don't recall anything scriptural that reflects that term. What is it that God asks (expects) of us when we relate to him? Isn't that term created by some dude selling books?
It just seems to small to me, to easy to say.
No, I don't believe "personal relationship" is appropriate. In fact, it is such an understatement of our relationship with Christ that it could be construed as demeaning:
"We love because he first loved us."
"For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have life everlasting."
I think we miss the point of God's love for the world sometimes (read: all the time). Because he loves everyone, does that mean that it is general, not specific to us personally? What we sometimes forget as Christians is that God's love for us is fierce and unfathomable, "scandalous" as one friend of mine calls it. If God IS love, and we are following Christ, what implication does that have on all of our relationships? Are we to pick and choose who receives our love? Who should we love that most if we have been given the only true, unconditional love by God himself? Does it mean nothing to be children of Him, to call on him as Abba, Daddy, Father?
What is Jesus' point when he says he will acknowledge us before his Father in heaven if we acknowledge him before men? (Matt 10:32-33) Do we simply "believe" in him, or is there something more to it?
Further, if we have been given the greatest love in the cosmos, are we to be like the wicked servant who would not forgive someone's debt to him after he had been forgiven by his own debtor?(Matt 18:23-35) Does our cup run over with love, in order that we fill everyone else's life with our love, or do we solely love God, who gave us this gift?
Personal Relationship, How do I frame in words the fact I have recognized Christ's love in my life? Brennan Manning (in one of his books) tells of a time in the new orleans area where people didn't speak of being "born again" but "seized by a great affection" (or something like that, from memory). How much do I have to do with this relationship with Christ, I am obviously significant because God's choice to love must add that to all of us.
It just seems to me I have a personal relationship with everything in my life, this computer, my dog, car, favorite author, even people I don't like. I can't add God to that list, How do we use language to define recognizing God's presence is in my life?
Ahh, I see now. I thought you were taking an instigating stance to get some discussion going... :) Yes, I completely agree that not only is "personal relationship" inadequate, so is our western word "love". Even the greek "agape" has difficulty conveying what our relationship with God is like. I often struggle to even convey the idea and feeling of agape to anyone, it is just one of those awe-some, Godly, unworldy things that we have to experience for ourselves. This opens up another question for myself - how much should tangible literary knowledge play in our growth with God, and how much of it is unspoken, something only to be experienced?
Thank for mentioning *the book* Steve, I predicted you would. :p
Oooh - this is good discussion! I'm a little late to join the party though.
I think because it's hard to explain doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to try. I agree that some things a person just has to experience for themselves, but there is a lot of power in the *inability* to express an idea in words. Most language is transfered in non-verbal ways anyhow.
Sometimes, what makes me the most curious about something is the fact the the person I'm talking to gets so excited that they cannot express themselves.
So, that was just my thoughts about the inability to put the relatinoship into words. However, the interesting thing as well is about God being love and if we accept him, we, too are love. What does that mean in how we deal with people... with EVERYONE and everything. That we are meant to BE love. Are we meant or empowered to be the extension of God's love in the world? Can we truly love God and be in His light if we have not completely embraced love?
I don't know if what I'm saying makes sense or brings justice to the mini-inspiration that I've read here. Sometimes, just like the bible, you have to express yourself in analogies until the person you are talking to makes their own connection. It's not going to be the same connection that you make, but it will be a connection that makes sense to them.
Is that the relationship with God? Totally personal. Filling you up in the ways that you need. Perhaps it cannot be well expressed because no two are alike. It's totally personal and that's what is so incredibly beautiful.
I know this is really late and the discussion is probably over, but I just found out about this blog. The question of a "personal relationship" has perplexed me for a while as well. What does a personal relationship entail? In any context outside of church, if I say I have a personal relationship with someone, it means that at the very least there is some kind of dialogue. It is not simply a mutual knowing of who each other is (as two celebrities might, while never having ever met or talked to one another). This is important for me because my experience of God does not include dialogue (or if it does, the dialogue is extremely subtle on God's part!)
Of course, some might say that scripture is God's letter to me, and prayer is my response to him, but maybe we can explore this concept of "relationship" with an analogy. Let's pretend that my Dad died before I was old enough to remember him at all. He knew that this would happen, though, so he wrote me an extremely long and thorough letter to help guide me through life and tell me all about him. He writes this letter because he loves me, and as I grow up, I begin to love him. But can I really say that I have a personal relationship with him? All I really have is a letter. If this is all there is to our "personal relationship" with God, then I think we need to use another name for it. On the other hand, if we want to keep the term, then there has to be better justification for it.
I think that it's important to remember that all descriptions of God and of experiences of God can only ever be metaphorical. We create problems when we normalize those metaphors and try to impose them on others. What happens to the people whose experience is so far outside the metaphor that they can only conclude that they haven't experienced God? This partially connects with what we were talking about this week as well in Galatians. In some ways, the Judaizers were trying to impose their experience of God on others as well. I'm one person who has been discouraged by the blanket application of the "personal relationship" term, and I know others who have simply walked away from the church as a result. I guess that, for me, it just reminds me to be careful and sensitive in assessing others' experiences with God.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:Create a Link